Being a mom can be scary. Our job is to turn this little tiny human into a functioning, contributing, well-adjusted member of society.
One day he’ll lose a job, someone will break his heart, cut him off in traffic or say something truly hurtful, and he’ll have to have the fortitude to handle it. One day I hope he’ll stand up for what he believes in, he’ll make a hard decision when no one else is willing to and love someone so much it aches.
I have to prepare my sweet little guy for all these things, and I’m terrified that I’ll miss something. The fear sometimes paralyzes me, I freeze, unsure how to handle a situation because I’m afraid that I’ll do it wrong. We had a Parents as Teachers visit last week and I actually asked how to play with my kid…
“Should I let him play independently, should I always be right there interacting with him, should I let him lead what we do, should I be directing the activity? Because I don’t want to helicopter and smother him but I don’t want to make him feel abandoned either.”
…wow, right? Until the words came out of my mouth, I hadn’t realized how much I had let the “mom fear” take over. The question may have been related to playing, but the heart of it was really “how do I not mess this mom thing up?” And since then I’ve been thinking about the answer I was given – “Don’t over think it, just play.”
Could that be the answer to my real question as well –
“Don’t over think it, just be”
Our kids see us, watch us, study us. Everyday how I interact with others, what actions I take and what words I don’t say…he sees them, he’s learning from them. By just being, living each day, he is picking up little bits and pieces that are shaping who he is. I don’t have to figure out how to teach him all of these epic life lessons, he’s learning the lessons by watching me be me.
Ok, now that might be even scarier! But at least I can do that – I can be me! I can fail and get back up, I can be compassionate to my neighbor, I can be patient (sometimes) and honest and work my butt off to achieve my goals. I’m not perfect, by any means, but I can work to be my best self. That’s all he needs, to see me trying my best.
So no more fear, I’m done being afraid of raising him “wrong”, and I’m turning all that energy around to be make me my best self. Join me on 7 days of figuring out how to be our best!
A bit more about Parents as Teachers- it is a national organization that promotes early development, learning and health by supporting and working with parents/caregivers. We have had 3 home visits so far, and our teacher answers my endless questions, evaluates Cole’s developmental stages and gives us things to work on or information on certain behaviors. They also host events kids events like music nights and adult events like sleep seminars. I’ve really enjoyed working with them, check below to find a location near you!